Bore-Muda

This place blows. Seriously, it is so boring here. First, the weather is awful. It's been totally cloudy, threatening rain, since I got here last night. Not what you look for in a tropical paradise. Second, the hotel sucks. I'm in my third room, and I'm not a snob or complainer. I do think I'm entitled to both a working telephone and a working toilet however. My room, which is in the special "Gold" wing, doesn't even have a freakin' balcony. That pisses me off. You know what my client is paying for this piece of shit room? $450/nt. I shit you not. And that's before the tax and extras. Good news (for all of you) - hi speed internet is free. Because I'm Gold, baby.

The deposition ended early today, and the court reporter and videographer invited me to go with them on rented mopeds to explore the island. It's a great system - tourists are not allowed to rent cars. Seriously, you CANNOT rent a car here; illegal. But anybody, with or without a driver's license, can rent a moped to whiz around the streets (on the wrong side, no less) with the impatient locals who do have cars and big vans. Brilliant. Partially because of the horror stories I've heard about injuries, and partially because I wasn't feeling so well after lunch, I declined the offer, and decided I'd just go wander around town on foot and take some pictures. There is absolutely nothing to do, nothing to see, nothing to take pictures of (except a Bermuda snowglobe for Kate the Peon). I took like 30 pictures anyway (love digital), and bought one of the FREAKIEST souvenirs ever. Remember the Seinfeld where George gets freaked out because his fiancee has a doll that looks like his mom? Well, I bought this plastic doll that's supposed to be a female Bermudian cop (looks nothing like my Mom) with eyes that open and close. Can't sufficiently describe the freakishness; maybe I'll post a pic of it when I get home.

Anyway, tomorrow, perhaps I'll rent a moped with or without the ct. reporter and video guy, because there's nothing left to see in town. To make matters worse, this hotel is so "fancy," that you can't eat in any of its restaurants in shorts (except of course the kind they wear here with jackets and ties - that's no fuckin' joke kid, they really dress like that). I basically brought suits and shorts (1 pair jeans, but I'm not even sure those would be acceptable). So I, out of indignance (I hate dress codes) and laziness, may order room service. Other option includes walking back to town and trying to find someplace there they'll let me eat. I saw a couple of bar type places. I SO hate eating alone though. Maybe I can make a meal out of the $6 M & Ms from my minibar.

Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! OK. Done whining. Am I in Vegas yet?