Copyright LiAps, 2004

Hear Ye, Hear Ye.  I have just coined a new phrase.  Ready?  "Yeah, you really hit the screw on the head there."  You see, "Hit the nail on the head" is a recognized expression for doing something right, dead on, making a pointed observation, etc.  See here.  But "Hit the screw on the head" is, henceforth, going to be the sarcastic version of that expression - letting someone know they have just said something moronic or come out with a complete nonsequitur. You see, you're not supposed to hit screws on the head.  Because the way you get a screw to go into something is by screwing it.  With a screwdriver.  If you pound on a screw with a hammer, it's going to mess up the wood or whatever material you're trying to fasten/secure.  You know, because of the threads.

I did a google search and a quick glance at the results came up with just one person using the phrase, and he was just trying to be funny/punny in complimenting someone for his observations in a post about, yes, screws.  Plus, he only used "screw" in a parenthetical after "nail," the actual expression.

So, you heard it here first.  "Hit the screw on the head" is going to be all the rage.  All the kids (or at least the cool kids, like Sloth) are going to be saying it.  It's going to be on t-shirts, bumper stickers.  Maybe I can even get it to be the catch phrase for some Saturday Night Live sketch.  And I'm going to rake in the dough from all my license fees etc. and live happily ever after in a small town in the middle of nowhere.  Maybe I'll even be known as "that Screwhead guy."  That would be awesome.