The Flip Side, Day 1 (6/13/05)

After Vegas, the author of this blog turned his car around and headed back to the city that never sleeps. This is his story.

Frankly, I don't remember a whole lot about Day 1 of the return trip. I just drove. I was trying to get pretty far, as my planned stop for night 2 was Overland Park, KS, because I needed a little stuffed bear lovin'. I was pretty exhausted from Vegas, and consumed several Red Bull-type drinks, in an effort to stay awake, alert, and happy. I don't know how well they did that, but they sure kicked my stomach's ass (stomach's ass?). I did, however, come across a new favorite one. I'll never drink a Red Bull again. How could I, knowing that pimpjuice is out there?? Nelly, I don't know shiznit about your music, yo, but you make a muthafucka of a drizzink. Seriously, this stuff, despite being a truly frightening shade of neon green, is uncarbonated, so goes down smooth as Colt 45, and simply tastes better than Red Bull. I've never seen it in NY, but am gonna order a case online. Because nothing beats being able to say the following to any guests that come over: "You want something to drink? I have Coke, water, pimpjuice . . ." And meaning it.

A close second is Amp, from the makers of Mountain Dew. Similar unnatural color and better taste than Red Bull, but this one's carbonated.

My goal, once I realized how exhausted I truly was, was to get to the Denver area before stopping for the night. In accord with my genetic predisposition toward "beating the traffic on the way out," I figured I would go past the city to the outer suburbs so as not to get caught in Denver rush hour the next morning. Great plan. Except that either I was actually asleep while driving or, on I-70, once you get past the exit for the Denver airport, there's like nothing at all for scores of miles. Seriously - it went right from Airport Road to fucking cows on the side of the road. Now, I could have turned around. But I kept thinking, "Something will come up soon." Soon took forever.

But I finally found "civilization" in Limon, CO (which I insisted on pronouncing "lee-mone" to give it a thoroughly undeserved air of European-esque refinement and sophistication; I'd be willing to bet everyone else called it "lime-in"). Mapquest is telling me Limon is 89 miles from Denver. Man, it felt longer. But I found a serviceable motel, a Best Western I believe. Checking in in front of me was a cute little blonde girl who was telling the woman behind the desk about how she had checked into some motel near Denver, but there were sketchy people there and she didn't feel safe, blah, blah, so she had to get out of there. Hey - that just about confirms that I wasn't sleepdriving - Limon was the next place she found too. Sweet. The lady told me that there was no elevator, and the only 1st floor room she had was a jacuzzi suite. Having purposely stayed in a jacuzzi suite once in Vegas [here's where I squeeze my eyes shut really tight and wish really hard to go back in time to that weekend almost 3 years ago . . . nope, still June '05!] and inadvertently stayed in one in Reno (that's a good story for a post, though I just gave away the punchline), I didn't see the need for one in Limon, and decided to suffer through carrying my bag up the stairs. Had dinner at Denny's, then back to the room to crash.