Day 2, Part 1

Kum & Go!
Originally uploaded by LiAps.

Got up early and got the hell out of the E. Coli Lodge. As I mentioned, that place was nizzasty.

Crossed the Mississippi. Anticlimactic. Perhaps because the whole bridge was under construction, and I really couldn't see anything.

Had breakfast at the Cracker Barrel in Davenport, IA. It was like, well, having breakfast in Iowa. I would have loved to have taken a panoramic shot of all the patrons in the place. Barring the Asian family (who I then saw get into a minivan with Missouri plates), the place was so full of stereotypical Iowans that I almost couldn't believe it wasn't set up for me. I tried to imagine all those people having brunch at Pastis and smiled. And then I realized that, in some way I just can't articulate, I feel more like I belong, or feel more comfortable, at an Iowa Cracker Barrel than at a chichi Manhattan brunch spot. Maybe it's just the novelty, but I don't think so.

Got gas at the above-pictured "Kum & Go" in Colfax, IA. These places are all over the state. I ask you - why the quirky misspelling? Were it a fast food joint specializing in Kumquats, maybe. But what's the hook here? It's not any LESS subject to juvenile sex jokes because of the misspelling, it's just kind of weird.

Went a good 15 miles out of my way to check out the "Authentic Danish Windmill" in Elk Horn, IA. I took a pic, but it was nothing special. Is it just me, or isn't it the Dutch, and not the Danish, who are famous for windmills? There was also a Danish Immigrant Museum further down the road, which I skipped. I did, however, go into the windmill gift shop. Among other things, I purchased a "Kiss Me, I'm Danish" pin. Why? I'm glad you asked. Here's why. And here's also all the evidence you'll ever need to have me involuntarily committed:

I imagined that the woman behind the counter (who was not entirely unattractive) would say to me, "So, are you really Danish?" And I would reply, "No, but I've eaten a few in my days . . . and none of them ever complained!"

Of course, she actually said, "Thanks. Have a great day." So now I have a Halloween costume.