Suspension of Disbelief (and of Common Sense)

July 3, 2005
Singapore

Apparently, Monkey was serious. I didn't. He did. Seems that, if the agreement in advance provides that you will not give the girl the requested $S 250 (that was at least the initial price, as laid out for me), but instead will cook her a cheese omelette at 6 am, she is, magically, no longer an OH MY GOD FILTHY WHORE! I imagine cab fare home is included in the deal too, but I don't know, because she's IN THE BEDROOM WITH HIM RIGHT NOW. And here I am cosidering burning a pair of my shorts because she wore them briefly after coming back here this morning. I guess it's all relative.

Now let's start at the beginning of yesterday.

Despite having gone to bed around 7:30, I was, of course, up before 11, bringing my 48 hour sleep total to approx. 4 hours. Monkey eventually arose as well, and we headed for the Harbourfront Mall, where we had some lunch. I had Chicken Rice. But not Chicken & Rice. That would be silly.

We wandered around several mall-type thingies and also walked along Orchard Road, the city's premiere shopping street. My stomach was not happy with me, from general travel/jet lag and the pad thai mentioned in the last post. Without going into too much detail, let me say I am grateful that Singapore's public restrooms are relatively clean (though they're nothing compared to those in the Tokyo airport - - Baggio, you would have been in heaven!) and that Monkey was in possession of some charcoal tablets, which is apparently what they prescribe for diarrhea here. I'm bringing some of that home with me.

One of the things we did was get me set up with a Singapore based cell phone. Monkey had gotten an old phone from one of his friends, and I bought a prepaid SIM card which includes "free incoming calls but we deduct 70 cents a day" (Monkey tells me this is typical Singapore logic). I now (after paying $20 to unlock the phone because its owner had, knowingly or not, set a code he didnt share with Monkey) have a Singapore cell number and am callable and textable etc. Sweet.

We then headed to a July 4th Celebration. Once we actually got there (after Monkey had taken us to the wrong subway station, where we couldn't find the shuttle bus, for obvious reasons, and yelled at and refused to pay a cab driver because he told us where we wanted to go was actually where it was), it was kind of cool and surreal for a lot of reasons I'm too tired to put coherently on the page. Drank beer, had a burger for dinner. There were apparently rumors that Billy Joel was going to show up and perform. If he was there, I didn't see him.

There were fireworks (pictured above), and they drew a big crowd of non-Americans. There was also an attempt at country line dancing, but that was apprpriately confined to a small corner of the field. And no, despite having experience doing the 2-Step at the Wild Horse Saloon in Nashville (thanks RebelMom!), I did not participate.

Went back t Monkey's for a power nap, and then, around 1 am, we went out again. To a bunch of different places, including a party on Sentosa, where I spent $35 to get in. And where we stayed about 15 minutes. Monkey weekend nights are apparently all planned around "where the chicks are gonna be." It is so not how I do things. Maybe it's me - I don't have that single guy mentality. I appreciate that it's nice to go someplace with pretty girls, but I don't change my destination every 1/2 hour based on text messages from my friends about where the girls are hotter and where the scoring potential is greatest. I spent well over $S150 last night on assorted drinks, cover charges and cab rides. I knew I wasnt going home with anyone (especially not from the bar Monkey took me to that featured exclusively Thai "Ladyboys"; damn! - that was an eye opener). And for all our shuttling from here to there and strategerizing, look how the night ended for Monkey. Shortest distance between 2 points would have been a straight line. What's the opposite of "playa," because that's what I am. Still, don't hate me. Hate the game I don't play, yo.