Bo-Bo-Bo!!

Hello all. I'm back. From Bermuda and Vegas. And I shot guns. Really. I, LiAps, shot guns. 4 different kinds. Including two machine guns. You know, the ones that fire a lot of bullets all over the place really quickly. Specifically, I shot the following: a Beretta 9mm; a .44 Magnum (yes, the Dirty Harry monster gun); an M-16 (wait, it gets better); and, last but certainly not least, an AK-47, the gun Samuel L. Jackson recommends for "When you absolutely positively have to kill every last muthafucka in the room."

So, LiAps, who do you know that could get you access to these dangerous killing machines? Did you have to meet up with some shady characters in the middle of the desert? Was it scary? Were you afraid you were going to get shot? Well, the answer to the last two is a little bit yes. But this was not a covert hush-hush [insert more spy movie lingo] operation. I simply went to The Gun Store. How did we convince them to let us (that's me and Andrew of furdell.com, by the by), two non-military, non-police, very non gun-looking people to pick these up and blast away? Like this, verbatim:

Guy Behind Counter: "How can we help you fellas today?"

Andrew: "We'd like to shoot some guns."

GBC: "OK."

We then picked out our handguns of choice, to return later for our machine guns. I don't have time to describe the experience in as great detail as I'd like. Luckily, somebody who writes for Slate already did that. Suffice it to say, it was somewhat surreal and a little bit fun. But it also confirmed my suspicion that I am just not a gun guy (good thing I gave up my onetime dream to be an FBI agent). I could never touch another gun again as long as I live, and that'd be just fine with me. I was frighteningly accurate with the AK-47 though. The other 3, not so much. OK, but I'm definitely not the man Col. Jessup would want on that wall.

Andrew definitely wins for shot of the day, however. While he was dead on with the 44 Magnum, he managed to somehow shoot the M-16 straight up into the air, severing the wires where you hang the targets for at least 3 of the booths. It was hi-larious. To us. But not so much to the guys who work there. Each of whom was, not surprisingly, carrying a gun on his belt. We left shortly thereafter. I don't think they shot at us as we drove away, but if they did, it's Hertz's problem, not mine.

Read the Slate article I linked to. It's good. I will blog atcha from Hawaii if not before. Aloha.